Have you ever caught yourself thinking, “This time it has to work“?
Maybe try starting exercising again. Maybe you want to take better care of yourself and finally eat a diet that’s good for you. Maybe it’s something completely different.
Whatever it is, if you’ve tried it before and it hasn’t turned out the way you hoped, a quiet sense of despair can creep in.
“I’m so tired of trying and getting nowhere.”
“Will this ever work for me?”
“Maybe I’m just a lost cause.”
(All things others have shared with me.)
These thoughts are completely NORMAL. But I know it doesn’t make dealing with it any less shitty.
And worse, experiences like these make you wary of trying again.
You start looking for the perfect plan – the plan that guarantees success no matter what.
And any setback? Just further proof that we can’t hack it.
So how can we break out of this doom loop and prepare for another try? And how do we make it work differently than last time?
These are the fundamental questions Steve addresses in his upcoming book: “So try again” (Have we mentioned the book before 😜)
As Steve walks you through the process step by step, I want to highlight one section in particular that I think is very helpful if you get stuck in this mode. This is what Steve writes:
Comics don’t tell a joke because it’s funny. You tell a joke until it’s funny.
A joke begins as an anecdote or observation. It’s a “best guess” about something that might be funny. It’s a scream into the void, often accompanied by “Is that something?” The first day of telling a joke is usually painful. No one laughs and the comedian awkwardly adds, “Okay, guess that’s not finished yet.”The next time you tell this joke, tell it a little differently, with a new punch line. Grilling again. But when they tell it for the third time, they giggle. This comedian has now scored his first win and they can start making that joke. The next time they tell it, it gets a little funnier and they laugh a few more times.
And from there, one adjustment or tweak at a time, a comedy set is built. That’s what makes stand-up so impressive. It’s a carefully crafted performance that looks effortless.
The same lessons apply to any change we try (including improving our fitness!)
The Matrix
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If I had powers like the Matrix and could simply download all the information I’ve learned over the last 15 years as a coach into your brain, here’s what I would tell you:
Treat every workout and nutrition strategy as an experiment to find what works for you.
Use your best judgment and try, even if you don’t know for sure.
A “failed” experiment isn’t a failure – it’s feedback we can use to try again differently.
Because here’s the thing – There is no single workout, no single nutrition strategy, no single routine that works every time, for everyone, forever.
Of course, there are basics that you can continue to rely on. That’s why we built things like this Bodyweight training for beginnersor ours 10 nutritional levels. To give you a really good starting point for your first experiment and to help you avoid the excessive hype on the internet.
But that’s just the first step.
From there, we learn to recognize what works for us and what doesn’t and adjust accordingly. Then we rinse and repeat the process until the heat death of the universe.
Heck, I’ve been training for 25 years and I’m still constantly making adjustments. This isn’t a flaw in the plan – it’s the whole game.
How this affects everyday life
Here are some examples from last week:
- Squats give me trouble – I’m going to try step-ups today.
- I’m so sick and tired of the chicken. I’m going to be experimenting with some plant-based proteins this week.
- Life is really chaotic at the moment – I don’t think I can get to the gym reliably. I’m going to switch to a quick bodyweight exercise that I do before work to save time.
Through this mindset shift (from “perfect plan” to “try and adjust”), Dawn stopped feeling trapped in the doom loop and gained the courage to try again.
Since the beginning of this year when she took part in the Nerd Fitness Challengeshe completed six rounds of experimentation, each time learning more about herself and what works for her.
The Nerd Fitness Challenge is making good progress. I do what I can and have a sense of peace knowing I did my best. Tracking my progress this year has given me great insight into how I live My Big Why. I really live a healthy life! – Twilight
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(If you need help setting up and running your own fitness “experiment,” Here you will find everything you need to get started.)
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One thing I’ve noticed in conversations with clients over the years is how well we can recognize how much things have changed in the past, and yet still assume that in the future everything will likely stay the same as it is now.
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If there’s one thing I can guarantee you, it’s that things will change again.
If we can stop trying to find the “perfect plan” and start with a good plan, if we can do little “experiments,” if we can learn to try again, we have the best chance of navigating the chaos.
It takes courage to try again – especially if we have been burned in the past. Getting back on your feet after a setback, a big life change, or a disappointment.
During my time as a coach, I read many books and studies and attended courses on behavior change.
So try again takes all of these lessons, but conveys them in a way that, above all else human.
Thank you, Steve, for diving into this book and sharing it with the rest of us.
-Frosted
PS: You can get a copy of this So try again Here.
