In 1933, an overwhelmed and frustrated woman named Ms. sent a letter to psychologist Carl Jung asking “how to live.”
(I guess she didn’t have any Instagram influencers shouting motivational platitudes at her)
Young replied:
“Your questions are unanswerable because you want to know how to live. You live as best you can.
…if you do the next and most necessary thing with conviction, you are always doing something meaningful and intended by fate.”
He shared the key to life.
It is part of recovery communities such as Alcoholics Anonymous.
It was even the title of a song in Disney’s Frozen 2.
“The next right thing.”
Rewatching this story made me think about how much my thoughts about success and progress have changed over the years.
“Success” redefined
I’ve been doing this nerd fitness stuff for over 15 years.
Millions of people visit the site every year, more than 50,000 customers have purchased through NF and our coaches have served more than 15,000 individual customers.
During this time I have changed my view of “success” and “living well” quite a bit.
I used to think that the only way to success was through martial discipline and following a specific plan. I never missed a training session and was incredibly proud of it.
It didn’t occur to me how much of one privileged and simple life I lived where I had 100% control over my time.
(Apologies to all parents and carers who read my 25 year perspective!).
Now that I’m 40, I can see the kind of people we are Strictly speaking Thanks to my help at Nerd Fitness, I have changed my perspective on success and “living well” quite dramatically.
Success comes not when we learn to do everything perfectly, but when we become better at staying afloat even when things go badly.
In other words, success means learning to be inconsistent and consistent. Learning to be good enough long enough.
And that means that when life seems chaotic, we focus on “the next right thing.”
Do the next right thing
A current newsletter by author Oliver Burkeman talked about how he chose to maintain a little bit of sanity in an overwhelming world.
It led me to these sentences by the author Eckert Tolle:
“What you call your “life” should more accurately be called your “life situation.” It is psychological time: past and future.
…Forget your life situation for a while and pay attention to your life.
Find the “narrow gate that leads to life.” It is called the now.
Limit your life to this moment. Your life situation may be full of problems – most life situations are – but find out if you have a problem at this moment. Not tomorrow or in ten minutes, but now.
Do you have a problem? Now?
When we think about what has already happened and fret about all the things that could or must happen in the future…
It’s easy to feel out of control and overwhelmed.
Which brings us back to that cliche solution: “the next right thing.”
It’s a cliche only because it’s true.
We can zoom in far and narrow our focus to something that is still within our control. In some situations Yes, there is a problem at the moment. And we can just focus on this one thing.
But in many other situations, it’s often worrying about all the problems that might exist or that are out of our control that keeps us from taking action on the actual things we can control.
Burkeman continues:
As for saying I just have to do the next thing… You can only do the next thing and then the next thing, whether you like it or not.
It’s actually a little strange to call one of these techniques “horizon narrowing,” as if it were an artificial limitation of one’s self.
Actually, you’re just consciously realizing how limited you’ve always been.
We all know how easy it is for us making things too complicated.
And when the world feels like a dumpster fire, it can be helpful to lean into the next decision, the smallest goal, and just do the next right thing.
It might be exercising or going for a walk, focusing on the next meal, calling our therapist, or finally say no to an obligation.
If “now” is the only time there is, then “the next right thing” is the only thing we can really do.
I’m going to do the next right thing for me: take a walk.
-Steve
PS: Maria Popova has great article about “the next right thing” as it is her life as a writer that inspired this piece.
PPS: Nerd Fitness is hiring a few part-time remote employees (specifically with flexible nights and weekends) to answer inbound, scheduled calls from potential clients interested in our one-on-one coaching. Click here to find out more.
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