Sci-fi horror comedy on Tubi will make you think twice about cheat day
From Robert Scucci
| Published
We’re almost two full weeks into the new year, and this is exactly the time when most sensible people give in under the pressure of their resolutions. If you drive past Planet Fitness – the Hotel California of gym memberships because you’re not allowed to leave – and turn into the nearest Dunkin’ drive-thru before 9:00 a.m. to maximize your daily calorie intake, you might want to consider… to watch Attack of the Killer Donuts as you slip into the weekend scaring yourself.
Most health experts say that donuts (from now on stylized as “doughnuts”) are harmful to health, and Attack of the Killer Donuts is a cautionary tale about how the delicious treats will surely spell your death if you don’t control your consumption.
Mover Over, killer tomatoes!
Attack of the Killer Donuts is a modern homage to B-movie drive-in features in the sense that your enjoyment depends heavily on how many sodas you were able to sneak past the flashlight-waving usher in your trunk or glove compartment while looking for parking. The film’s main antagonist is a bunch of killer donuts whose goal is to attack as many people as possible.
Bouncing around like a swarm of fierce, yeast-infused tennis balls, the Killer Donuts show no mercy after being accidentally resurrected by a mad scientist whose mission in life is to bring the dead back to life.
A vulgar display of flour
You can’t just allow donuts to randomly kill people without some kind of backstory to their candy massacre, because that would be silly, so Attack of the Killer Donuts brazenly goes through everything to create the semblance of a narrative.
First we meet Johnny Wentworth (Justin Ray), a young slacker who lives with his mother and works at Dandy Donuts. Johnny is in love with Veronica (Lauren Elise) and has a very one-sided relationship, who walks all over him and mostly just uses him for money. Johnny’s mother Emma (Kassandra Voyagis) tries to convince him to consider his colleague and childhood friend Michelle (Kayla Compton) as a romantic interest because they have a rock-solid friendship that should definitely be taken seriously to the next level.
Oh yeah, and living in Johnny’s basement is his mad scientist uncle Luther (Michael Swan), who spends all his time injecting dead rats with a mysterious serum while trying to perfect his reanimation serum so he can win the Nobel Prize. Luther should not be viewed as an antagonist Attack of the Killer Donuts because he means well, but every pastry punch in this film is the direct result of his carelessness despite his good intentions.
Donut Riot
Johnny steals his laptop from Uncle Luther’s lab before going to his shift at Dandy Donuts. Johnny and Michelle spend most of their shift offering free donuts to their regulars after a fight breaks out in the store, much to the dismay of their incompetent and stingy boss Cliff (Chris De Christopher). At this point Attack of the Killer Donutsthe stacks of free products aren’t infected (or packaged) yet, but the important takeaway is that there are dozens of potentially violent donuts in circulation.
Luther shows up at Dandy Donuts to pick up the laptop and gets into an argument with Cliff, who previously banned him from the store because of his eccentric behavior. During the argument, Luther’s serum flies out of his shirt pocket and into the fryers, setting the rest of them on fire Attack of the Killer Donuts in motion.
The donuts grow fangs and secrete a poisonous green slime that infects their victims, and all hell breaks loose at Dandy Donuts before the sentient candy breaks loose and terrorizes the city.
Not fully realizing the gravity of the situation, it’s up to Johnny and Michelle to inform the public and learn the full extent of Uncle Luther’s research so they can develop an antiserum and save the day.
A hilarious bloodbath
Attack of the Killer Donuts has all the right ingredients for an effectively self-aware low-budget B-movie. Its violence is so over-the-top that you just have to laugh at how ridiculous the titular antagonists look as they pounce and delight in their subjects. Sure, Officer Rogers (C. Thomas Howell) has access to firearms, but his defense against the killer donuts is hopeless because there simply aren’t enough bullets in the world to defuse the problem, especially after he’s hit by a jellyfish. Explosion was blinded.
To be able to enjoy it to the fullest Attack of the Killer Donuts, You must begin your viewing experience knowing that this is the case Creature function doesn’t take itself seriously at all. It’s inherently schlocky and the effects are intentionally bad to get the point across. But if you need motivation to stick to your New Year’s resolutions, I can’t think of anything more effective than watching your favorite fried treats go on a murderous rampage, sparing no life in their path.
At this time you can stream Attack of the Killer Donuts free of charge Tube, peacock, Crackle, PlexAnd Amazon Prime Video.