Jemima Kelly is trying to find her way to happiness
In my job as a FT columnistI take a skeptical, often disrespectful look at the world around me. I tend to question everything – not for the sake of it, but because I’m suspicious when a whole group of people believe the same thing. I was often referred to as an “antagonist.” I once hosted a podcast series called Crypto Skeptics Guide. I have the word “snark” in my x-bio. You have the idea.
So you might be surprised to hear about some of the things I do in my free time. I use the word “synchronicity” without any sense of irony. I swear to myself definitely supernatural Kinesiologist. I am a member of a coven called the Sisters of the Sanitary Cloth (both the description and our name are slightly ironic, the latter being more so than the former). I’ve become obsessed with it co-staran app that claims to use NASA data to bring you “extremely accurate” AI-generated horoscopes, ahem. (It was recommended to me by a senior colleague. I won’t name any names.) I write Morning Pages, as advocated by Julia Cameron, author of The Creativity Bible The artist’s path. I do, you know, “the work.”
But how can someone so suspicious of consensus opinions and so passionate about the importance of truth and objectivity be so invested in what many of you would call quackery? I think it’s quite simple: I’m open-minded. And while I believe in the value of reason and empiricism, I would also argue that this is actually the case rational to explore alternative approaches to science, medicine and life.
So I stand under a chandelier in a plush Edwardian suite at the Savoy Hotel, gently tapping my fingertips on my “eyebrow dots” as silent tears roll down my cheeks. “I feel like I’m on a never-ending hamster wheel of appointments,” I repeat to my teacher as I type (we’ve already discussed how I feel; she’s not just guessing). “I’m sick of it” – I move my fingertips down and tap just next to my eyes. “Eurgh” – under my eyes. “Bleurgh” – under my nose. “So many dates” – under my bottom lip. “So many dates!” — Collarbone. “But I’m willing to stay open to love” – totally in my head. “And I trust my intuition more every day” – back to my eyebrow points. And so forth.
My teacher is Poppy Delbridgea former Warner Brothers executive who left the world of entertainment television in 2018 to pursue tapping full-time, a primarily self-administered form of therapy that combines modern psychology and ancient Chinese medicine. I met her a few months ago because I decided it was high time I met the love of my life. I went into a “taster session” feeling pretty dubious, spent most of our hour together in a state of deeply cathartic crying (she had this effect on me in all of our individual sessions), and left feeling like I wouldn’t mind if I would float in the air.
I type every day now. I’m a tapoholic. Guided by Delbridge’s Rapid Tapping app as well as her book, TapI rapped on park benches, in saunas, on a Greek island, in the bathroom. I completed her personal empowerment program Pivot into Power (other graduates include Caroline Rush, CEO of the British Fashion Council and The Royle family co-author Phil Mealey). I was on one of their “Rapid Retreats” (our group of five included a Delevingne sister and a superfan who flew in from the Caribbean). And I’m now doing her “30 Day Love Cleanse,” which, like all of Delbridge’s programs, involves not just tapping but also some pretty intense self-discovery and personal development work.
Here’s how to do the two-minute tap
Poppy Delbridge’s Guide to Rapid Tapping
First steps
Sit or stand comfortably.
Sentence Your Intention: Decide how you want to feel right now (calm, energized, focused).
Check Your frequency level: Place both hands on your chest and pay attention to how you currently feel. Rate yourself from +10 (high happiness) to -10 (low energy or stress).
Take a breath.
Move Your hands: Slide them down a few inches from your collarbone and firmly massage your “sore spots” to balance and ground.
Sentence Your intention:
1. “I feel …” Identify your current emotion.
2. “Because … “ Acknowledge why you feel this way.
3. “But it is possible for me to…”
Quick tapping sequence
Use Tap these dots with two fingers on each hand as you repeat your three-step answers.
1. Between the eyebrows
2. Sides of the eyes
3. Under the eyes
4. Under the nose
5. Chin
6. Clavicle and heart area
7. Top of the head
Finish with head hug and shake: Rub your hands together, place one hand on your forehead, the other on the back of your head and hold for 10 seconds. Hold and smile. Then shake your hands and body to recalibrate and refresh.
The 7-day quick reset is available as a video demonstration in the free app
Tapping is a so-called “somatic” therapy, meaning it focuses on the connection between mind and body. It has its roots in ancient Chinese medicine, but was invented by an American psychologist in the 1980s and then simplified by one of his students in the 90s to become the “Emotional Freedom Technique.” With EFT, you tap on nine main “meridian points” – pressure points also used in acupuncture – to release energy stored in the body from traumatic experiences. While some dismiss it as pseudoscience, Gary Bakker, a clinical psychologist and lecturer at the University of Tasmania, calls tapping “purple hat therapy” and tells me: “There is no evidence whatsoever that tapping on your imaginary meridians “psychological problem” – there are studies that argue that tapping is a way to treat depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, food cravings and even physical pain and can be the symptoms of autoimmune diseases.
And the more I type, the more problems I’ve found that it helps me with – particularly related to stress, lack of motivation, and self-doubt.
Delbridge’s version, “Rapid Tapping,” focuses on seven meridian points using EFT, and usually also includes an initial massage of the “sore spots”—fleshy parts about an inch below the collarbone that feel tender to the touch—as well as a “head hug.” ” at the end (their app includes an instructional video). She wants to use tapping to focus less on moving away from bad things in the past, like traditional EFT, and more on good things in the future by “rewiring our neural pathways.” In other words, to “manifest” the things you desire in your life.
If that sounds gushing, rest assured there is none of that clearly toxic positivity. The fact that each session begins by saying out loud how you really feel, and if that’s negative, repeating it until the feeling goes away, I think is one of the reasons the practice is so helpful. Not only does it feel like you’re releasing tension when you say your negative feelings out loud, but some of them seem a little ridiculous when you do.
Most taps will first ask you to rate how you feel – either in general or about a specific topic – and then ask you again to rate your feelings at the end. Some days my feelings just rise; Other days my mood completely changes within minutes. Whatever it does, it feels like something is working. I also often sigh when I knock. Other people yawn. “I joke that I’m the only speaker who doesn’t get offended when the whole audience yawns,” says Nick Ortner, who has more than 100,000 subscribers to his The Tapping Solution app.
“At a minimum, you’re shifting your nervous system into an arasympathetic state—from fight or flight to rest and relaxation,” says Dr. Tara Swart, a neuroscientist and one of Delbridge’s clients who now knocks most days. “People who are not used to being in a state of relaxed alertness may end up becoming sleepy.”
Although I may not have met the love of my life yet, I feel like I’ve broken down a number of barriers – or “love blocks” – since my first session with Delbridge in May. I also seem to spend a lot less time sabotaging myself and manage to regulate my emotions more successfully. I now use tapping as part of my morning routine and sometimes at other times of the day and find it similar to meditation in that it grounds me, although it is usually more uplifting and motivating and can also be more focused when you need it that’s how it is.
I can assure you that I felt like an idiot – like an idiot! – the first time I did it, but these days it feels strangely natural to tap my fingertips across my face and chest. Try it, I say. What’s the worst that can happen?
