How do you live a happier life? Notice what was there all along
As 2024 comes to a close, people are looking back to evaluate their lives and think about what can be done in 2025 to live more fulfilling lives. You may encounter a mystery: Why are there some great things in your life—perhaps a fulfilling career, a loving family, a comfortable home—but these things seem to have only a limited impact on your daily happiness? ?
At the same time, there may be not-so-great things around us—breaks in a relationship, rudeness online, inefficiency in the workplace—and it seems that we often get used to these maladies, so we’re less likely to try to change them.
In other words: we no longer perceive what was always there. Here’s how you can change that.
Recognize habituation
Habituation is a fundamental feature of our brains – the tendency to respond less and less to things that are constant or frequent.
Imagine you walk into a coffee shop. At first, the smell of freshly brewed coffee catches your eye, but after about 20 minutes you can no longer smell it. Your olfactory neurons no longer react – they get used to it. And just as you get used to the smell of coffee, you can also get used to more complex aspects of your life.
The challenge then is to regain sensitivity, both to the great things in life so that we can feel the joy, and to the terrible things that we no longer notice and that we might be able to change if we tried. So how are we? disget used to?
Break the good
The answer lies in this wonderful quote from economist Tibor Scitovsky: “Pleasure arises from incomplete and sporadic satisfaction of desires.”
Think of a song you like – would you enjoy it more if you listened to it continuously from start to finish or with short breaks? 99 percent of people say “no” to breaks. However, Research shows that people enjoy a song more when they listen to it with pauses. Why? When you listen to a song over and over again, the joy it initially brings diminishes over time. However, breaks lead to weaning, so that every time the song sounds again, the joy increases again.
To counteract habituation and maximize pleasure, we must consume the good things in life little by little. Whether it’s a Netflix show, a chocolate cake or a new love story – enjoy instead of bingeing.
Swallow the evil whole
On the other hand, if you have to do an unpleasant task – household chores, administrative work – do it all at once. Research shows that people suffer less when they have to constantly listen to an unpleasant sound (such as the sound of a vacuum cleaner) than when they take breaks. If you experience the noise continuously, the “pain” it initially causes will subside over time. However, breaks lead to dishabituation, so the level of suffering increases again each time the noise occurs again.
Experiments in life
What about the aspects of your life that you suspect are causing stress and anxiety, but you can’t really say how much they affect you because they are always there and therefore you don’t try to change them? They loom in the background like the constant noise of an air conditioner – you don’t realize how negative the noise is until someone turns it off and you suddenly feel much better.
Think about social media: does it negatively impact you? In one studyResearchers paid half of the participants $100 each to quit a social media platform for a month, while the other half continued with their lives as usual. At the end of the experiment, the “exit” cohort was happier and less stressed. Most importantly, they were surprised. They were unaware of the negative impact the platform was having on them.
Experiment with life in 2025. Gradually eliminate some items from your daily routine for a while and add other new ones. Measure and evaluate the impact on your life so you can retain the qualities that lead to happiness and meaning and eliminate those that don’t.
