Growth instead of comfort | Nerd Fitness
Stephen Wilson Jr. was a scientist who worked for Mars, Inc. (Yes, the Candy Company).
One day his boss pulled him into an office and said something that changed his life:
“Stephen, you’re about to be promoted.”
Normally a cause for celebration, this was meant more as a warning from his boss.
In a previous life, Stephen was a guitarist in a small indie rock band. He also spent his evenings writing songs.
His boss knew that Stephen was a damn good songwriter and where he really belonged.
He told Stephen about the golden handcuffs:
“You’re up for a promotion and they’re preparing you for the next level.
And you’re kind of at a crossroads.
Because if you accept the promotion like I accepted it 30 years ago, your dreams of becoming a songwriter will disappear. This will consume every part of you.
Right now you can write songs and do this job, but in six months I’m not sure if you’ll be able to do it. So I just want to warn you.”
That tiny voice in Stephen’s head that had been there for years was getting louder.
Six weeks later, with his inner voice now at a deafening volume, he gave his two-week notice, causing confusion all (except his boss and his wife).
To make ends meet, he started working as a bartender and waiter while honing his craft and trying to land country music publishing deals…all while being rejected for not writing “Bro Country” songs:
He was told: “You write REAL songs. We can’t do anything with that…”
Years later, after some modest success writing songs for other musicians, he finally mustered up the courage, experience and clout to start recording his own songs.
And last year he finally released his debut album, Son of dadwhich Rolling Stone named one of the best albums of 2023.
Recently Stephen published one Stunning cover of Ben E. King’s “Stand By Me” which I’ve listened to about 10,000 times in the last month.
(Seriously, please watch this video. It will give you goosebumps!).
Golden handcuffs against uncomfortable expansion
I also led a double life from 2008-2010.
My day job was at Sixthman, helping to promote and produce floating music festivals. But I also spent my nights and weekends working on a small website to help nerds get fit.
My boss April and my mentor Andy (who owned the company) both knew where my heart was; They encouraged me to chase the uncomfortable future and try to make nerd fitness my career.
16 years later we are still going strong!
With Oliver Burkeman Four thousand weeksHe encourages us to ask a specific question when making decisions in life:
“Where in your life or work do you currently seek comfort when a little discomfort is called for?”
The question “What would make me happiest” will most likely lead us to the short-term, convenient and safe option.
Instead, we should think about which path makes us GROW as a person or which path makes us SHRINK each week. We probably know the answer to the question deep down if we have the courage to ask it.
Burkeman’s advice:
“Whenever you can, choose uncomfortable enlargement over comfortable reduction.”
Yes, sometimes chasing an “inconvenient extension” doesn’t lead to a songwriting deal or a successful business. I have chosen the uncomfortable path and sometimes it doesn’t work. But that’s part of the process and at least removes the potential for unhealthy regret!
That brings me to today’s mission.
Let’s get used to feeling uncomfortable
Let’s chase the uncomfortable expansion in 2025.
- When we do strength training, We force our muscles to become uncomfortable by lifting heavier and heavier weights – they respond by growing and adapting.
- When we use food as a coping mechanism When we’re sad, angry, or bored, it can be uncomfortable to think about our relationship with food.
- When we have uncomfortable conversations, We can finally deepen our relationships or advocate for the things that are important to us.
Let’s ask ourselves the question in 2025:
Where in your life do you live comfortably, comfortably and safely? deep inside Do you know that the path of “inconvenient expansion” is what you really need to grow and get what you really want?
You may not need to quit your job immediately or commit fully to a new goal or change…
But it might be worth asking yourself this uncomfortable question.
Life is hard and change is harder.
Uncomfortable.
Scary.
Messy.
But if you’re willing to say NO to comfort, it might be just what you need.
-Steve
PS: We’re doing a free 5-day workshop For people who want to build new habits that will last in 2025, it starts in a few days!
