Don't look back in anger - Maroclocal Press

The year 2024 is coming to an end, so I want to give you one last newsletter before the chaos of 2025 begins.

It’s that time of year when our brains almost automatically look back on the past year.

What went right, what went wrong.

What we have achieved, what we have not implemented.

If you’re like me, it’s easy to overvalue the “what went wrong” part and feel all sorts of negative emotions about these things.

We may look back with guilt at something we did or didn’t do. As I mentioned in a previous newsletter, I am someone who has done this the most amount of “Catholic guilt” even though I’m not religious.

I came across a story a few months ago that I’m still thinking about. Apparently there is no word in the Tibetan language that can be directly translated as “guilt.” The closest possible translation is more like “intelligent regret.”

I don’t speak Tibetan and couldn’t find a Tibetan speaker who could confirm this, but I think it’s a nice sentiment that can help us as we move toward 2025.

Guilt can be corrosive and unproductive. But as Dan Pink points out in his book The power of regret, look backwards with your right side Art Regretting things that did or didn’t happen can actually be powerful and transformative for our future selves.

So instead of trying to live a life without anger (the opposite of intelligence)…

We can use regret intelligently in 2024.

In honor of the band Oasis reuniting next year, Don’t look back in anger (still an all-time jam, by the way).

Instead… we look back with curiosity.

Look back with curiosity, not judgment.

Take some time today and look back on your year together Curiosity, not judgment.

Did you achieve the things you wanted to achieve? Great! I bet you learned something.

Has your life fallen apart and you’ve spent most of the year trying to stay afloat? Great! I bet you learned something! Have you repeatedly started, stopped, and accomplished a goal? Great! I bet you learned something!

Write these things down. Notice the emotions you feel when you look back. Write down what you learned and how it may influence your future decisions.

Maybe you’ve learned that you hate running, that going keto was a complete failure, that becoming a parent for the first time has thrown your life into complete disarray, or that we can’t stick to a morning routine .

These are all things that happened. Now we have to decide what kind of emotion we want to apply to these things.

Remember, The past is not set in stoneand some of those setbacks or failures could be exactly the lesson you needed to learn for Future You. They could be the catalyst for your next step forward.

Remember, it does NOT say, “I messed up/failed, so I’m a lost cause…”

It says, “I messed up/failed and learned this lesson that I can apply to 2025.”