Billie Lourd and Carrie Fisher. (Photo from Getty)
Billie Lourd admitted she was “sad but grateful” as she celebrated her mother’s eighth anniversary Carrie Fisher Death.
Lourd expressed her complicated feelings on the somber occasion, sharing an emotional tribute and a throwback picture of herself with her late mother via Instagram on Friday, December 27th.
“It’s been 8 years since then my mother died. As my son would say, “That’s a lot!” I always dread that day. I spend so much time beforehand thinking about how terrible I’m going to feel,” wrote Lourd, 32, “And my fear is usually correct. I woke up this morning with a dark cloud over me. But when my children woke up, the dark cloud lifted and gave way to bright sunshine. The anniversary of her death is like an emotional tropical storm. It rains heavily all day, but between storms the light is more beautiful than on any day without storm clouds. Without rain there is no rainbow.”
The actress then relied on a parable to explain what it felt like to struggle with her feelings of grief.
Amy Sussman/Getty Images; Jim Spellman/WireImage Billie Lourd is honoring her late mother Carrie Fisher, seven years after the Star Wars actress’ death. “It’s been seven years since my mom died (but who’s counting?? I guess?),” Lourd, 31, began in her Instagram caption on Wednesday, December 27. “Every anniversary brings a different repetition (…)”
“There is a great one Anne Lamott Quote: Grief is “like a broken leg that never heals perfectly – it still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.” And that perfectly describes how I feel today,” wrote Lourd.
She continued: “Yes, the mourning weather is cold and yes, I may be limping, but I am absolutely dancing through life (oops, I quoted evil?). And with my limp, I’m actually a better dancer. My grief has given me a deeper appreciation for all of life’s little moments. That’s why I’m sad today (sad but grateful). I watch the magic that is my son and daughter and I know that she is a part of that magic. And I feel everything. The sadness. The joy. The longing. The magic. The emptiness. The abundance. And everything coexists in profound ways. I send my love to everyone out there who needs it. ❤️“
Since Fisher’s death, Billie has given birth to son Kingston, 4, and daughter Jackson Joanne, 2, with her partner Austen Rydell.
Fisherman died in December 2016 at the age of 60 after a heart attack. A day later, Fisher’s mother, Debbie ReynoldsHe died of a stroke at the age of 84.
In the years since her mother and grandmother died, Lourd has done this often spoke about her loss.
Last year, Lourd celebrated the anniversary about her mother’s death with another poignant post.
“It’s been seven years since my mother died (but who’s counting?? I guess?),” Lourd wrote in December 2023. “Each anniversary brings a different iteration of my grief. Some fill me with anger, some make me cry all day, some make me feel dissociated and empty, some make me feel nothing, some make me feel guilty for feeling nothing, and some make me feel all of these Feeling things all at once. ”
Billie Lourd has told how working on Gia Coppola’s new film The Last Showgirl made her feel closer to her late mother Carrie Fisher and grandmother Debbie Reynolds. Joining co-stars Pamela Anderson and Jamie Lee Curtis on stage at the premiere of “The Last Showgirl” at the 2024 Toronto International Film Festival on Friday, September (…).
The Scream Queens alum also admitted in December 2021 that processing grief is “never easy.”
“I’m in one different stages of grief in every moment of every day,” Lourd wrote via Instagram. “My grief is a multi-course meal with many complicated ingredients. An amuse-bouche of bargaining, followed by an appetizer of anger with a touch of depression, acceptance for the main course and of course a little rejection for dessert.”
She continued: “And that’s how grief should be – all at once – actually there is no ‘should’ in grief – grief is just what it is for you and that’s how it ‘should’ be.”
